I recently spoke with a woman who I know to be a wonderful mother and a very godly woman. I respect her and appreciate her in many ways. However, during our conversation we completely disagreed about the promoting of pop-culture in our homes; even seemingly innocent Christian artists and movie-stars in pop-culture... there are several young people currently in the Hollywood limelight who profess to be Christians and whom I'm certainly not judging in any way. Their choices are between them, the Lord, and right now their parents.However, the more I minister to young ladies, the more I see this cross over to the Disney tween/teen, Hollywood and/or pop-culture not only impure, but very, very dangerous! No, it is far from innocent. In fact, just two weeks ago I spoke at a purity event for 7th-12th grade girls in North Kansas City and was once again shocked to find that the majority of the Christian girls talked like, dressed like, and acted like the majority of girls immersed in pop-culture. It broke my heart once again to hear their stories, watch their tears, and see their pain.
It troubles me deeply because I have many mothers ask me what they should do to encourage their daughters in purity. I don't understand why we can't see that a simple starting point would be to stop promoting this pop-culture attitude in our homes, through our televisions, through the music we allow on our daughter's IPods, and by clothing we pay for them to purchase. I'm certainly no expert in this area since my girls are only 4 and 2, but I know for sure who I don't want them to become like!
Looking back, my parents NEVER encouraged me to have role models who were "secular pop-stars." They didn’t ban everything secular from our home, but they highly encouraged my brother and me to choose godly role-models, lyrics, etc. Even attending a Christian school, I saw a stark contrast between the teens who were “trying to fit into the pop-culture mode” and those who were more concerned with following Jesus. It was obvious by the music they listened to, the clothes they wore, and the ways in which they spent their time.
I guess the question is, "Who do we want our daughter's to become like?" Do we want them to be the typical teenager in American pop-culture, focused on herself, her body, boys, etc. or do we want to mold her into a young woman eager to serve, eager to honor her parents, eager to share with the lost, eager to make a difference in this dark world, eager to open God's Word each day, and eager to live a life worthy of the calling she has received...
Below are a few resources I've enjoyed recently that go completely again the feminist-teen pop-culture we find around us; sadly, even in the church. I was challenged by these two CDs, Home Is Where The Heart Is: Teaching your daughters to cherish being keepers at home and What's a Girl To Do: How to wisely invest your daughter's time. I was also encouraged and sometimes amazed by the following DVD, The Return of the Daughters: A vision of victory for the young women of the 21st century.
May we as mothers, grandmothers, and young ladies purpose to live a life set-apart from the normal pop-culture that is destroying our daughter's purity and virtue. May we be salt and light, spreading the beauty of God's truth to those around us... for those of you with daughters, what are some ways you are promoting an attitude of purity and virtue amongst this pop-culture saturated generation?Labels: Modest Monday, Modesty, Motherhood, Purity, Virtue
9 Comments:
I am shocked by the clothing small children and teenagers are wearing this days. Everyone is trying to be that "Brittany Spears" style and it thoroughly makes me sick! There really does need to be more Godly role models in Hollywood for our children/teenagers to look up to.
I have heard some of the lyrics of today's songs and I am again shocked at how much of it has to do with sex, committing crimes, and rising up against authority.
What is this world coming to? And why are more and more parents allowing their children to dress and act like Brittany Spears, Lindsy Lohan, etc.?!?
The generation of children/teenagers we have right now are someday going to be this nation's leaders. What kind of leaders are they going to be if this is the kind of culture they are brought up to accept as being okay?
It may seem like a small, simple thing but we just don't watch the Disney channel in our home.
I may have a slightly different viewpoint or it may be that I agree with you completely but my interpretation of it may look different but nevertheless the most important thing that I believe any mother can and should do to protect her daughters heart and mind is to have HAVE her heart turned toward the daughter and woo her daughters heart toward her own. For without it, anything we do is just a pile of rules - a list of do's and don't's and may serve nothing more than a list for the emerging teen to rebel against.
So let's win our daughter's heart. Make time and every effort to emotionally connect with her,frequently and regularly.
Be the example- live the life you want for your daughters. This is more important than the influences that they may or may not see at church, school, or on TV. I'm not saying that it is acceptable to have a free-for-all with all these things. Not at all! But rather than focus on what not to do or what to avoid, I like to focus on what I can do and what I can give and the positive difference I can try to make.
I will never be able to protect them from every evil thing. In fact, I cannot even procure salvation for my children! But I can make a difference...through my relationships. So I endeavour to cultivate and nurture my relationship with my daughters- listen to them, talk with them and live by example.
Susan
www.kerugma.net/blog
What a blessing your comments are. With a 10 y.o. and 6 y.o. girl and trying so hard to instill godly characteristics, without being legalistic (big difference), I am very discouraged with how young ladies in the church are allowed to dress. Their parents think that if all the parts are covered up, it's modest. AIN'T NECESESSARILY SO. The only way to make a change is for a new generation of parents to start the change. My girls know that our bellies aren't to show, our curves aren't to show and skirts come to the knees especially Sunday morning in respect for the Lord. Our teen girls need more young, attractive "cool" Christian role models like you. God bless you in your ministry.
I have been told how Miley Cyrus is a Christian and not a bad role model. She is not a good one either. She dresses immodestly and her character behaves in a way I think is inappropriate. I call it sassy mouth. I don't ascribe to what the world is selling. I have the two CDs you mention. I am looking forward to ordering the DVD. At 5 the model of dress set by the world is already an issue. When you go from 5T to 5 in the stores, you go from child to "woman" in style. I guess I'll be sewing clothes in the future...
It's so hard to be a mother to girls these days. We don't have television in our home and I have homeschooled and kept the girls in church trying so hard to prevent the world from seeping in. Hoping that they would desire to be different and not look like the world. I haven't been successful. I can only pray. I wish I knew how to win their hearts. I wish I knew what else to do.
Jenileigh:
Something I have learned from experience - if you shut your children away from the world totally and allow them to be nowhere but church or at home, they will actually be more prone to rebel against you and find ways to be in the world. However, if your children are able to live a more exposed life where they can SEE some of what goes on the in the world (this is where parental judgment comes in) and then you take the time to explain why you do not do/act the same way, then your children will understand better why living a Godly lifestyle is so important and better. Knowledge is the key to success and to better choices! Children living a completely sheltered life from the world will not be able to succeed on their own once they leave home because they are not fully aware of the ways of the world. They will be more prone to want to experience what the world is like. Trust me on this one - as one who was a sheltered child growing up and later rebeled as soon as I left home(only to later, by God's grace!, return to living a Godly life).
Sherri, Thanks for your continual fight for modesty! I am holding up the torch with you and TOTALLY agree with you. God Bless you, sista!
I think I know what you mean. My daughter is only 7 months old but I have bouts of real fear as to how we will teach her purity and love for the Lord and all, have it stick, and not have her turn out like so many of the young girls in our church today not to mention the ones we see in public. All I can do is pray that the Lord will bless our efforts and keep our little one in the palm of His hand.
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