As I've watch older women I respect and admire keep their homes, I've noticed a similarity between them. Each one makes her home a priority. These virtuous women seem to put more time, thought, prayer, and effort into serving their husbands, raising their children, and homemaking than others. And, there is a noticeable difference in the peacefulness of their homes, compared to those who spend more time being busy outside their home.
I continue to learn there are many, many wonderful, God honoring things for me to be doing outside our home, but there is a season for everything under the sun... In Titus 2, we read that older women are to teach (among many other attributes) the younger women to be busy at home. As a wife and mother with little ones, in order to have a peaceful home, I must be there! Do I think that means being home 24/7; of course not. However, it does cause me to look carefully at the activities and goals I have outside of our home. When Sheri is running in a million directions, it reflects in the thoughtfulness I show toward Tony's needs, in the caring and patient manner I mother our children, in the memories and traditions (meals, family nights, schooling, etc.) I'm able to plan, and in the overall cleanliness (don't you love the clutter monsters!) and upkeep of our peaceful home. So, my prayer is that I would be acutely sensitive to the Holy Spirit's leading in the ways I spend my time outside our home. I want to make a difference for eternity, but I don't believe I should ever do so at the expense of my family.
"Father, please change my heart. Please help me to remember that you've given many women the gift of speaking and ministering at events, you've blessed so many women with the talent to write and be authors, many can share encouraging blog posts in cyberspace, many lead solid, life changing Bible studies, many watch lives change through world missions, and volunteer at important church events. Many women are able lead Army Wives Groups and bring people together to help and bless those in need. And, these are all important thing; activities I love... but only I, only Sheri Ann Prescott, can be Tony's wife, Savannah, Alisa, and Levi's mommy, and the keeper of the Prescott home. Lord, my desire is that my heart and life would be where you've called me to be. With all the expectations of others (and my own horrible fleshly desires), teach me to never base my worth on my earthly resume. I want to make a difference for eternity in the place you've called me to make the greatest difference. No one else can take the place you've called me to be in our home..."
So, to create a peaceful home, I must be home. Here are a few ways I'm learning to gauge this desire:
1. In addition to prayer, Bible study, and asking the Holy Spirit's wisdom as to how we plan or days, we should ask our husband's opinion about our outside activities, commitments, ministry, etc. and (key here) then submit... There have been numerous times that I felt I needed to do this or that outside our home, and although Tony would not tell me I couldn't do something entirely, he shares his godly wisdom as the head of our home.
2. Learn to say "no." Ug, it's a hard thing to learn, especially when you have a soft heart that loves to be needed, that loves to serve, and that desires to make a difference in the lives of others. But, saying no is a must in keeping a peaceful home.
3. Being "at home" also means not being outside our home by way of the computer screen, blogging, Facebook, text messaging, the cell phone, TV, music, etc. etc. It's important that we guard against being home, yet outside our home in word, thought, etc... Time is precious!
4. It helps to plan a few days a week (if possible, sometimes it's just not) which we are home all day. That means no running to the grocery store, no activities, appointments, etc, etc. It sounds unusually foreign and backward in our fast paced society, but spending time at home is so good for us!
5. Instead of thinking we must go outside of our homes to minister and bless to others, lets bring others into our home! Lets reach out to our next door neighbors, lets invite our little ones friends over to play, lets open our doors to friends in need, lets have that family over for dinner that we've been meaning to ask for ages. Hospitality is an unlimited ministry inside our home!
What are areas of your life you've found you've needed to step back from in order to create a more peaceful home?